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Lurkette - Beautiful & Talented


B. T. Lurkette Lurkette is the result of an experiment begun in France after Joan of Arc lost her life for being considered an overly opinionated female interfering in A Man's World. After Joan's demise, the Secret Society of Victoria began lengthy experiments with the purpose of creating a woman no man could resist nor conquer. 

Lurkette was created by the careful blending the warrior traits of the famed Amazon women with equal parts irrepressible feminine charm, an unequalled arsenal of feminine wiles, and a body that caused her to become immediately employed as the favored model of France's most popular Haute Couturier, Pierre de la Portunde. 

During Lurkette's 'formulation' it was not immediately noticed that the "Hell Hath No Fury" ingredient had been mistakenly added at over three times allowable (read safe) level. 

Thus, Lurkette was freed upon the Unsuspecting World, a beautiful and charming yet highly inflammable beaute', whose mission over the century would be to confuse, confound, tantalize, infuriate and decimate The Men of Planet Earth. 

Lurkette hurriedly left France just before she was to be named Courtesan of the Year, having found out just in time that the Title was attached to an employment contract with the King, a nasty little man with no love of soap and whom she suspected of not flossing with any regularity. 

The Beautiful and Talented Lurkette, (as she has come to be known), is responsible for the recruitment and training of Jordan's famous fighting female soldiers, and for training Jane Fonda for her Workout cassettes. She is credited with negotiating Ivana's divorce settlement, and for introducing Jackie! to O!. 

She invented modern mascara, speed loaders, credit cards, and the Equal Employment Opportunity Act. 

Lurkette, now lives in America and has burned so many bridges across the face of that enormous Country, that she now finds herself just one State away from falling into the Pacific Ocean. 

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©1999 SuBBrilliant News, All Rights Reserved.
ISSN 1093-2895
SuBBrilliant News is publishedin Austin, TX USAź by Ace DeTECHtion Media.

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