Lurkette is the result of an experiment begun in France after Joan of Arc
lost her life for being considered an overly opinionated female interfering
in A Man's World. After Joan's demise, the Secret Society of Victoria began
lengthy experiments with the purpose of creating a woman no man could resist
Lurkette was created by the careful blending the warrior traits of the
famed Amazon women with equal parts irrepressible feminine charm, an unequalled
of feminine wiles, and a body that caused her to become immediately employed
as the favored model of France's most popular Haute Couturier, Pierre de
During Lurkette's 'formulation' it was not immediately noticed that
the "Hell Hath No Fury" ingredient had been mistakenly added at over three
times allowable (read safe) level.
Thus, Lurkette was freed upon the Unsuspecting World, a beautiful and
charming yet highly inflammable beaute', whose mission over the century
would be to confuse, confound, tantalize, infuriate and decimate The Men
of Planet Earth.
Lurkette hurriedly left France just before she was to be named Courtesan
of the Year, having found out just in time that the Title was attached
to an employment contract with the King, a nasty little man with no love
of soap and whom she suspected of not flossing with any regularity.
The Beautiful and Talented Lurkette, (as she has come to be known),
is responsible for the recruitment and training of Jordan's famous fighting
female soldiers, and for training Jane Fonda for her Workout cassettes.
She is credited with negotiating Ivana's divorce settlement, and for introducing
Jackie! to O!.
She invented modern mascara, speed loaders, credit cards, and the Equal
Employment Opportunity Act.
Lurkette, now lives in America and has burned so many bridges across
the face of that enormous Country, that she now finds herself just one
State away from falling into the Pacific Ocean.
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