August 21, 2007
Employees lose $6 billion a year to work
(BOSTON) Workers lose billions of dollars a year in lost recreation time to their employers, according to a new study from Reinhart Analysts, published Tuesday.
The Workforce analytic company looked at the phenomenon of working from home, and found employers cost their employees up to US$6 billion.
“People think about work a lot on their off time. And not only think, but make decisions, hatch ideas, scribble notes,” Reinhart chairman Cindy Alpenson told SuBBrilliant News.
“And with the advent of the Internet, now they check email during off time, visit work websites, and Intranet sites and more.”
The Internet has allowed employers to expect responses from email and action on work projects more and more during off-time
Alpenson said her findings were based on a typical worker, earning average holiday time, working a 40-hour week. She then calculated the cost to workers if they spent an hour each day on work instead of relaxing. Work they don’t get paid for
“We got the extraordinary figure of US$6 billion in lost recreational time and work done essentially for free,” she said.
Alpenson said banning work from off-time was not necessarily the best way to combat recreation wasting.
“Employees can balance things out by surfing the Web at work. Watching videos on YouTube, socializing on IM and Facebook,” she said. “If allowed, this actually spreads the work out and makes the worker more productive, and allows ideas to come at more opportune times, rather than being forced into an 8-hour day.”
May 24, 2007
Letter E’s protest Web 2.0 Sites
“Unfair to Vowels” read one sign. “We’re not all silent!” read another. Silicon valley saw its first protest against websites conducted exclusively by a letter of the Roman alphabet.
Several letter E’s, who claim they’re out of work but a new fad in naming companies, have banded together to demand fair treatment and proper spelling.
“It’s a great time to be a G,” said one disgruntled vowel. “But let me tell the G’s of the world something. We were your friends, and now you’re digging our graves.”
Sites like Flickr lead the trend of dropping the letter e from a company name, making it easier to find a domain name.
“Twitter didn’t seem to have any problem finding a domain name that could put some of us to work,” said the E.
The letter E, often referred to as the most common letter in the English language has long had a close relationship with technology. Many standards are set by IEEE, which employs the most E’s of any sector of technology.
But the landscape has changed with the onset of Web 2.0 companies looking for a hip name.
“There’s a special place in hell for these sites right next Georges Perec,” said one particularly vocal E. In the meantime, the vowels will continue to petition silicon valley business to put E before everything.
March 2, 2006
More details on Apple Bono
(CUPERTINO, CA) - 
Mysterious Apple rumour expert, ross, continued to divulge information today about Apple’s secret acquisition of U2 singer Bono.
The poster said he got his information from simple market analysis.
“It’s a basic model that most tech companies follow, let’s look at eBay/Paypal and Skype – about a month before the eBay/Skype deal, Paypal were pushing Skype services,” explained ross. “Now lets look at Apple and U2 – see what’s happening?”
The new Apple Bono will come in two colors, a black and a white version, accroding to ross, “black being formal ware and white for promoting the brand.”
One other source said the new name of the lead singer would be the MacBono Pro, not the iBono.
Other expert rumour-spreaders said that Apple is also in the early stages of acquiring the Pope.
March 1, 2006
Apple purchases Bono
(CUPERTINO, CA) - 
According to a tip from a reputable Web message board poster, Apple Inc. is currently in the process of purchasing U2 lead singer Bono.
The poster known as ross said he had irrefutable proof in the form of video and photos. Apple spokesrobots denied the rumour.
“Thanks for your interest in Apple Computers,” said the spokesrobots “We value your favorable press coverage. Please keep an eye out for the next great Apple announcement. It will come you know not how and you know not when. Your question about, buying Bono, will be considered for answering. We have no comment at this time. Thank you for communicating with iPress Corps.”
Subbrilliant News received confirmation of the rumour from a blogger.
“Oh yeah, I have a friend who dates this chick that works in HR at Apple,” said the Blogger. “They not only bought Bono, but they’re planning on a whole new line of Bonos. The Bono Mini to take with you in the car. The PowerBono with multiple processors for use in simultaneous charity appearances. Even a Bono that just speaks in random obscure quotes, called the Buffle. She said she’s try to scan me some pictures to put on my blog.”
Apple fan sites love the acquisition of Bono. Mac fans waxed eloquently about Bono’s sleek design and accessibility.
Critics pointed out Bono’s low market share and high price, and wondered when Bono would become more interoperable.
The new line of Bonos will be announced on March 16 and start at $1,999 for the base model.
January 24, 2006
MPAA sues man for having friends over
(HOLLYWOOD)
- The MPAA brought a case against Ronald Smith of Buena Vista, California, alleging gross violations of intellectual property rights and video piracy.
The MPAA alleges Smith willfully invited friends over to his house to watch a TiVo recording of the movie ‘War of the Worlds’ without first seeking permission and paying a license.
“Essentially Mr. Smith was stealing from Tom Cruise here,” said MPAA’s spokesperson. “Instead of being able to make a living off the purchases of movie tickets or DVDs by Mr. Smith’s friends, Tom Cruise, and the producers of the War of the Worlds movie, one who I have come to understand has a very sick and small and cute child, are left out in the cold. Literally. Did Mr. Smith consider he was taking food from a cold sick child’s mouth when he so cavalierly invited loads of people to steal this movie?”
Smith said he only invited two buddies over and that they’d watched movies at his and others’ houses quite often.
The MPAA asserets that watching a videotape is a different matter than watching digital videos.
“The high-definition and digital nature of the copy Mr. Smith displayed is entirely different than watching an old videotape. We have no problem with the way things were done in the past, but this is new technology. Videotapes left people feeling like they wanted more. A digital recording, like the one Mr. Smith stole, does not. And people should be forced to pay,” said the MPAA spokesperson.
The MPAA has asked congress to require future video-playing devices to be equipped with technology that would scan the room for a headcount and automatically debit the credit cards of anyone watching the movie.