OSLO – In a brief announcement yesterday God broke his silence on last week’s awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama, calling it outrageous.<\/p>\n
The supreme maker of all read from a prepared statement that did not mention the President directly but caustically chastised the Nobel panel.<\/p>\n
“For eternity I have waited for the recognition due to me in softening men’s hearts, providing hope to soldiers in foxholes, and sending doves pretty much everywhere,” read the staement.<\/p>\n
“But this latest snub has almost exhausted my infinite patience. The Nobel committee must resolve this.”<\/p>\n
Spokesangel Michael took questions after God left the room and tried to explain his boss’s position.<\/p>\n
“Look his son is the Prince of Peace.\u00c2\u00a0 That makes him the King of Peace.\u00c2\u00a0 But he never gets a peace prize? You do the math.”<\/p>\n
Reporters pointed out that many wars both past and current have been fought in God’s name, but Michael pointed out that claiming something is far from making it true.<\/p>\n
“Anybody can go out and steal a ham sandwich and claim they do it in God’s name,” answered Michael. “That doesn’t mean God supports stealing pork products.”<\/p>\n
Michael stated that God would follow up on his announcement shortly, which he also pointed out could mean a year in God time.\u00c2\u00a0 Insider’s say if there is no forthcoming prize after the next vote there could be Hell to pay.\u00c2\u00a0 Literally.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
OSLO – In a brief announcement yesterday God broke his silence on last week’s awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama, calling it outrageous. The supreme maker of all read from a prepared statement that did not mention the President directly but caustically chastised the Nobel panel. “For eternity I have waited […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=124"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":126,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions\/126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}