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Vinnie Columbino accidentally boarded the wrong transit vehicle Friday night and ended up outside of New York City, discovering a whole new world.<\/p>\n(OUTSIDE NEW YORK) – Vinnie Columbino accidentally boarded the wrong transit vehicle Friday night and ended up outside of New York City, discovering a whole new world.<\/p>\n
“I was so worried at first, but after I realised what I’d found, I couldn’t wait to get back to tell my brother Eddie,” said an ecstatic Columbino. “I was so dang dru..tired, that I got on a frickin’ Greyhound bus. I know!\u00c2\u00a0 Only losers ride the bus, but there I was.”<\/p>\n
As soon as Columbino realised what was happening, he tried to get the bus to turn around.<\/p>\n
“I kinda woke up and looked out the window and realised I wasn’t in Queens. I didn’t know where the hell I was. All I saw were parks everywhere.\u00c2\u00a0 At least I think they were parks.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ve never seen such big parks.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean these things never ended.\u00c2\u00a0 They were at least 30 times the size of Central Park, with these big monster trucks parked in them every so often.”<\/p>\n
Columbino got off the bus at the next stop in the city of Bedford.<\/p>\n
“I mean you could hardly call it a city.\u00c2\u00a0 It looked like somebody took a slice of Brooklyn and plopped it down int he middle of nowhere.”<\/p>\n
Columbino calls the area ‘America,’ and reports that the people there live much like we do, driving cars, watching television, and eating in restaurants.<\/p>\n
“But it’s so much less crowded there.\u00c2\u00a0 The natives speak a different language though.\u00c2\u00a0 I tried communicating but they couldn’t understand freakin’ English, man.\u00c2\u00a0 I had to use sign language to figure out how to get back to the city. It’s like they couldn’t understand a thing I said.”<\/p>\n
Columbino plans to make preparations for a second voyage to ‘America’. He also hopes to develop trade relations and try to introduce some culture.<\/p>\n
“They have\u00c2\u00a0 no idea what a Canolli is.\u00c2\u00a0 Or a Reuben.\u00c2\u00a0 I feel a responsibility to civilise them.\u00c2\u00a0 Who knows how many more of them there are outside the known world.”<\/p>\n
Columbino’s brother will accompany him, hoping to prove his theory that some places seen on TV shows may in fact be based on secret knowledge places in ‘America.’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(OUTSIDE NEW YORK) – Vinnie Columbino accidentally boarded the wrong transit vehicle Friday night and ended up outside of New York City, discovering a whole new world. “I was so worried at first, but after I realised what I’d found, I couldn’t wait to get back to tell my brother Eddie,” said an ecstatic Columbino. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}