{"id":56,"date":"2006-02-19T13:11:42","date_gmt":"2006-02-19T17:11:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/?p=56"},"modified":"2006-02-19T13:11:42","modified_gmt":"2006-02-19T17:11:42","slug":"god-sends-penn-jillette-to-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/?p=56","title":{"rendered":"God sends Penn Jillette to Hell"},"content":{"rendered":"

(LAS VEGAS) – \"PennPenn Jillette, the big guy from Penn and Teller, and host of a FreeFM radio show, has been sent straight to Hell, according to God’s spokesperson the Archangel Michael.<\/p>\n

“Mr. Jillette found this hard to believe, but God’s been a fan of his for years,” said Michael. “He noticed that producers often cast Mr. Jillette as Satan.”<\/p>\n

Michael explained that while God felt Jillette’s portrayal was certainly inspired, it lacked in depth and accuracy.<\/p>\n

“Atheists don’t have the hangups that prevent a truly accurate performance of supernatural beings, but they also lack the impulse to research the parts. God’s such a big fan, he just wanted to lend a hand,” said Michael.<\/p>\n

Jillette was woken Saturday morning by the Grim Reaper who ushered him into the realme of darkness for a one-hour meeting with Lucifer and a short tour of Hell.<\/p>\n

Unlike most assignments, the Grim Reaper had a return trip after the tour was over, bringing Jillette back to Las Vegas.<\/p>\n

“It’s really not that far of a trip,” said Reaper.<\/p>\n

Jillette was unphased by the experience.<\/p>\n

“It didn’t change any of my non-beliefs but it certainly, most definitely, will help in future parts,” said Jillette. “Plus, Satan, and really a lot of people in hell, what would you call them, Hellions? A lot of Hellions are huge fans of Bulls hit, our show on Showtime.”<\/p>\n

God is not bothered by Jillette’s lack of faith, according to Michael.<\/p>\n

“Look, that’s just Penn being Penn,” explained Michael. “This was just about helping out a member of the entertainment industry, not about conversion. God’s not always trying to do everything at once. He can if he wants to of course, he just doesn’t want to.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(LAS VEGAS) – Penn Jillette, the big guy from Penn and Teller, and host of a FreeFM radio show, has been sent straight to Hell, according to God’s spokesperson the Archangel Michael. “Mr. Jillette found this hard to believe, but God’s been a fan of his for years,” said Michael. “He noticed that producers often […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=56"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=56"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=56"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.subbrilliant.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=56"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}