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23rd September, 1997,
Submitted by Viki Reed Click Here to
return to Front Page©1997 Vikki Reed, All Rights Reserved.IA few weeks ago, I saw “Event Horizon”, a recent
‘horror-sci-fi-action-thriller by Paramount Pictures. I
thought:
enough with the ‘chick-films’. Let’s go for a ride. I managed
to
overcome the hearing loss that resulted in screening “Lost World”,
so
what the heck!
Let me just say in closing, if you’ve ever watched “Alien”, “2001, A
Space Odyssey”, “Hellraiser”, or “Battlestar Galactica”-you’ve seen
“Event Horizon”. I chose this new movie over others because
I read a
story about the film with an interview with the director, Paul Anderson.
Paul co-wrote “EH” with Philip Eisner, but I got the impression
that
this was his vision, his baby.
Paul, by the way directed that fine film, “Mortal Kombat” and a little
known film called “Shopping”. He seemed a little naive:
“It was
fantastic doing a movie that’s set entirely on spaceships....usually,
you’re always one step ahead of the audience and of the movie, and
know
which of the characters are going to get killed, because they have
‘victim’ stamped on their foreheads.”
Anderson cited so many influences, analogies, and comparisons that I
began to wonder if he had any idea of what he was after: “(EH)...the
retelling of the Flying Dutchman and the Marie Celeste story”, “Instead
of the Overlook Hotel in ‘The Shining’, it’s set onboard a spaceship”,
“American studios hadn’t made A-List Scary Movies like ‘The Exorcist’,
and ‘The Omen’ for some 15 years...”, “We looked at ‘Rosemary’s Baby’”,
“...We came up with ‘techno-medieval’...(EH)...it looks very
technological, very kind of ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’...”,
“‘Event
Horizon’ is an attempt to return to that...” (the way ‘ALIEN’ hid the
true identity of the monster until the end.), “‘Star Wars’ was
the big
one when I was a kid...I was more deeply affected by such Charlton
Heston movies as: ‘The Omega Man’ and ‘Soylent Green’...I loved
‘Logan’s Run’, too.” , “I grew-up on Westerns.”, “If you took ‘Solaris’
and turned it into a n American action movie, you may end up with ‘Event
Horizon’.”
Paul Anderson seems to think if his actors were cool characters in other
sci-fi films, the audience will be impressed and focus on that as they
watch ‘EH’:
(on Kathleen Quinlan, castmember of ‘EH’): “...which is nice,
because
in ‘Apollo 13’ she was the loyal wife...”, (on cast member Sam
Neill):
“...he saves the kids in ‘Jurassic Park’”.
Actor Laurence Fishburne is a real enigma to Paul Anderson: “...he
usually plays quite a villainous character, to cast him as this great,
John Wayne character was great. But then you’re never quite sure
you
should trust him, because after all, he was Ike Turner in ‘What’s Love
Got To Do With It?’ (There he goes again!)
Yet God-forbid you think ‘ALIEN’ in the same breath as ‘Event Horizon’
:
“You’re expecting...another version of ‘ALIEN’, and that’s not what
you
get at all, instead you get a very scary psychological horror movie”,
“We wanted to come up with something original, rather than ‘ALIEN’
and
Blade Runner rolled into one...”
Paul Anderson’s next project is ‘The Soldier’, starring Kurt Russell
(who is in a lot of Sci-Fi-Horror-Thriller-Action films). “It’s
really
‘Unforgiven’ in space.” (FYI, ‘The Soldier’s’ producer, David Peoples
also produced ‘Unforgiven’ and...yep, ‘Bladerunner’.)
Would you hire him to make your movie?: “( re: Eisner, his
screenwriting partner)...he initially imagined the film to be made
for
about $5 million...Then, he found out it was 10 times that much...”,
“Making movies allows me to do things I can’t normally do” (such as
forming a logical or original thought, for example), “On this movie,
I
get to show Laurence Fishburne how to hold a gun, point it and shoot
the
thing. Can you ask for anything better?” (Paul, Fishburne was
in
‘Apocalypse Now’ when he was a teenager, you’re lucky he didn’t beat
your ass when you told him how to handle a gun!), “...We started to
design the ship by scanning Notre Dame cathedral into the computer,
and
then we built our spaceship as elements of that cathedral, but rendering
it in metal instead of stone. The ‘Event Horizon’ is built in
the shape
of a crucifix, which is the way all cathedrals are built. While
a
cathedral would have a gargoyle hanging over the top, we have an antenna
cluster, gut it has the same feeling as a gargoyle. ...something quite
old and scary, yet also quite new and futuristic.”
Anderson’s general summation?: “...Viewers wont’ be treated to
the
usual ‘no big deal’ approach to space flight...Space Exploration is
dirty, dangerous work.”
“‘Event Horizon’ gives you all the genre conventions, fulfilling your
expectations, but it also gives you something very, very different.”
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Notorious drug cartel boss Jesus Gomez was
sentenced to crucifixion
by a court in Tijuana yesterday. After a long televised trial
that many
observers compared to a legal circus, the gavel pounded away Gomez’s
last hope for freedom. There will be no appeal. United
States Drug
Czar Mohammed Hussain hailed the conviction as a “triumph against the
dark forces rallying to undermine the essence and integrity of our
precious bodily fluids.” As with Al Capone, authorities never
could
make a legitimate criminal charge stick, but rather than arresting
Gomez
on a bogus tax evasion indictment, the Humane Society swore out a
warrant for his arrest charging him with cruelty to animals
(specifically, drowning a herd of swine in the sea). In June
1996,
after a world wide manhunt, an un-named informant for the Mexican
Government (now confirmed to be Judas Escargot, one of Gomez’s
12
deputies in the crime syndicate), led the Federales to a rain forest
in
Cabo San Lucas.
Based upon trial testimony, it is now known
that three of the
cartel deputies (brothers Pedro, Jaime, and Juan Sanchez), were assigned
to stand perimeter guard duty. After finding them asleep at their
posts, Gomez scolded them, “If you guys have a problem staying awake,
try using some of our own product”. Apparently, the potency was
low
from too many cuts, because the guards allegedly fell back to sleep,
allowing the Federales to tippytoe through their camp in a way even
Ninja Assassins would envy.
With the Governments inability to visually
identify Gomez, Escargot
was previously instructed to betray his leader with a kiss. Eyewitness
accounts were conflicting at best, some saying that Gomez was a
homosexual and accepted the kiss with enthusiasm, others saying he
was a
confirmed heterosexual and when he saw the kiss coming he cleverly
ducked it saying, “Sorry Judas, I don’t swing that way”. In either
event, aware he was cornered and knowing he had the best attorneys
money
could corrupt, a bewildered Gomez allowed himself to be handcuffed
without incident while 11 of his deputies fled into the surrounding
woods. They were still at large and considered confused and depressed,
until, unbathed and hungry after months on the run, they turned
themselves in. In a fit of guilt, Escargot hung himself
in jail last
month while awaiting trial. All 12 deputies were later granted
immunity
for testifying against Gomez or for aiding the authorities, including
Escargot, posthumously.
Gomez’s cell mate was a sociopath named Barrabas
Hernandez. While
Hernandez had been convicted of the serial murders of 19 card carrying
ACLU members, he had much compassion for quadrupeds. At Gomez’s
trial
Hernandez turned states evidence and told of his jailhouse confession.
“Jesus tole me he did the deed. Being an ethical man, ordinarily
I
would never snitch on nobody, but a man must do the right thing when
it
comes to protecting a harmless pig”. (Hernandez was later
pardoned for
his crimes by the Governor in return for testifying against Gomez).
Since his arrest, the only words Gomez has
spoken publicly were
cryptic. “"Padre, Padre. por qui me has desamparado?” (Father,
why
have you foresaken me?). Insiders say that Gomez believed in
soothsayers and spirits, having had his palm read weekly. He
kept a
deck of Tarot Cards and a rabbit’s foot with him wherever he
travelled. Some believed that this was the secret to his
success at
avoiding capture in the past, and he converted many of his deputies
to
his superstition preferences. He obviously felt that his dead
father
Jose` was guiding and protecting him from the authorities, then had
for
some unknown reason abandoned him. There is no other explanation
for
his statement.
Gomez will be crucified tomorrow at 6am.
It has been rumored that
he has requested kosher pork burritos for his last meal. A large
crowd
is expected, so many people are camping (upwind) on the sidewalk tonight
in order to reserve a good seat.
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"Our clients face dire consequences under current inheritance tax law," said Arnie Smot, chief of the AAM lobbying arm. "Under current laws, the Meek would have to sacrifice over 70 percent of their inheritance to the government before they even see an acre."
Mr. Smot is of course referring to a clause whereby the meek, in the event of, 'an apocalypse, world-end or other armageddon shall inherit in whole the title and possession of the planet referred to as Terra, Earth or Gaia.'
The AAM fear that many governments, especially the US and Europe will attempt to withold a large chunk of their inheritance which is rightly theirs.
"We're not going to let some bullys take away the inheritance we've waited patiently for," said one AAM member who was afraid to be named. "That's not what America's about. If we don't get our fair inheritance we're gonna, we'll, well I tell you we'll be really mad and stuff."
Congress is currently putting a bill through committee which would lower capital gains tax on biblical and other religious inheritances to 50 percent with the majority of the revenues earmarked for social welfare.
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