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Sunday, 29-Jan-2023 09:08:46 GMT

Christian Cantrell - Venerable Columnist

Christian Cantrell 

C.T.Cantrell occasionally writes about himself in the third person in order to create the illusion that he is important enough that someone would actually want to write about him (so do not be fooled). He is something of a complex figure in the literary/journalistic community and perhaps better discussed with a certain amount of indirection. 

He was not born in 1920, 1939, 1952, or 1976 anyplace in South America, the middle or far easts, or the Ukraine. His parents were not poor farmers who immigrated to the U.S. when Cantrell was only four and they never labored long hours in factories, mowed people's lawns, worked in a 7-11 or became engineers to support the family. His father was not an alcoholic and he did not abuse Cantrell or his mother on either a regular basis or sporadically until Cantrell finally left home and shacked up with a freelance herpetologist. He never became an alcoholic himself while trying to complete a number of novels and there is no proof that he ever supported himself by writing obituaries for a small local paper. It cannot be truthfully said that writing about stiffs all day eventually made Cantrell realize what a wonderful gift life is, and he never really did settle into serious journalistic pursuit. 

Cantrell does not currently live in Salt Lake City with an unknown number of wives. You can read his own paper at American Asphalt News.


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