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Monday, 28-Nov-2022 22:19:50 GMT

The Subbrilliant News Staff


Ace Dtect, President and Thoracic Implant Specialist

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Bavhraghita Semionopololes

Bahvraghita Semionopololes passed away on 4th November, 1997.  She was a strange case, even for us. According to all state records, she was born in 1962 in France, of a Greek father and an Indian mother. However, scientific tests have shown that this is untrue. According to a number of leading institutes, Bahvraghita (better known as Bavs) was conceived in the Dark Ages, probably in the midst of the war between King Stephen and the Empress Mathilda (or Maud) in 12th century Britain. One intrepid scientist has gone as far as claiming Bavs was the product of their union, a theory since much disputed by historians. Further experiments revealed that the Nell Gwyn of your history books is a total fabrication, the position of the King's mistress having been filled by Bavs herself - which would explain her liking for grand social occasions. The Bavs we knew and loved rejected that as 'ridiculous and preposterous'. Unfortunately, there are no witnesses either to prove or disprove the conflicting theories, so Bav's origins are likely to remain an unexplained mystery. She did speak with a strong French accent, though. She died hunting down and killing alien copy boy Christian Fletcher, giving her life for her newspaper.  She had no survivors, nor took any. 
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Viki Reed

Reed is a comic writer surviving in LA. She is originally from New Jersey and was raised by a pack of wild tv's. She believes Michael Caine is the Zelig of Pop Culture. 

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Preciado, a typical freelance writer, spends her time lounging, eating bon-bons, getting massages, and occasionally dictating a story to her army of secretaries. 

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Tim Bauer

Tim Bauer was not born in 1412. He does not write about fractal geometry and its effects on chaos theory on the Message Board. He does not have a cool pseudonym. He has been certified as 43% less "colorful" than the average SuBBrilliant writer (64% less than Pilot X).

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Tom Merritt

Tom Merritt began SuBBrilliant News as a photocopied 'xine in June of 1993. He took it to the internet in 1994 and to the web in 1996. He had his sense of humour removed in 1997 and has been consigned to the coding dungeon ever since. His multiple personalities were split up by the department of justice after being determined an illegal monopoly.

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Cindi Harrison

Cindi is the author of Dear Drella as well as in charge of saving the Editor-in-Chief's butt gramattically and otherwise. She is a professional writer/editor/poet in California and enjoys everything that is not unpleasant, especially her dog, Manik.

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Don Bucho

Don Bucho is the director of Alcohol, Narcotics, and Firearms for Chicken Ranch Records, a record label based in Austin, Texas. Bucho was named as a possible ringleader in a multination rohypnol for beanie-babies trade cartel. Contact Don Bucho c/o Chicken Ranch Records,

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Pilot X

Pilot X crash landed in a western US SuBBrilliant compound in 1997. Before his identity could be determined, he was declared dead and transfered to our afterlife bureau. He works in heaven as coordinator of celebrity deaths.

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