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Sunday, 29-Jan-2023 09:20:20 GMT

Kierkegaard - Washington Correspondent


I'm not THE 19th century German existentialist but I play one on tv. Like the German dude, I think life is absurd. So is my weekly paycheck, (ACE!). I also have an incredible knack for spotting the obvious which is why I decided to become a journalist. I should have gone into television journalism but unfortunately you need a knack for the obvious and a low IQ. 

I was born in the 1800s, and I am convinced that the Brady Bunch wasequally as relevant to both centuries. During my drug-addled youth as a Repoman I learned the fine art of avoidance. Now, I use that to dodge my editors. 

These days, I spend most of my time in strip malls and chain restaurants, have no sense of culture, and am starting to get really nostalgic for the early1990s. 

I met Ace Dtect in a fox hole back in 'Nam. I was raving about running from the "Oar Man" who kept telling me to Kneel.  Ace talked me back from it and served me a plate of Bob and Edith's home fries and whisked me away to SuBBrilliant Compound # 652 in Pnomh Penh where I recovered and joined the staff. Twice. Ace led to me to a life of the absurd. So here I sit. And wonder. And think, "what the hell I am doing here?" Or better yet, "what the hell are YOU doing here?" 

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