March 5, 2009
The world government has determined the recession is not such a good idea after all and fear it may have gotten out of control.
A secret world government spokesperson said the recession was meant to teach Republicans a lesson by costing them the election in the United States. But plans for the economy to rebound in the early part of 2009 have failed to materialize.
Secret economists have tried several methods of restarting the economy, including slightly pressing the gass while turning the key, putting the economy in neutral while getting out and pushing and then jumping in and trying to start it, as well as dynamite.
Experts believe that once the economy has warmed up a bit, it should restart just fine in the spring.