SuBBrilliant News

April 12, 2009

GM announces hybrid car with horse

by Acedtect

Car with horseGeneral Motors announced the new Chevy Caballo Hybrid with ‘ComesWith Horse’ technology at the New York Auto Show this week.

The Caballo includes a fairly beefy V-6 engine paired with a natural gas engine. But the big selling point is the included space for a horse.

“Our new Equus module allows you to add horsepower. Literally,” said GM spokesperson Pat Mitchell.

The module makes it possible to put a horse inside the car to provide drive train power and fuel.

“Because all four hooves of the horse leave the ground at the same time, it’s not efficient to use it as direct propulsion. So the horse is placed on a treadmill that creates energy for the drive train,” said Mitchell.

“The Equus module does take up cabin space, but we make up for that with the entertainment and green value it provides,” Mitchell added.

The module sits in the rear part of the SUV-like cabin and fully encloses the horse except for roof ventilation slots. Passengers can look through windows in he side of the module to see the horse in action. Feeding drawers allow them to give the horse snacks like sugar lumps and hay. GM calls all this the entertainment value.

The green value comes from the fact that any waste created by the horse is collected and reclaimed as fuel for the natural gas engine.

GM expects the vehicle to be very popular in the horsebelt of the United States.

“We see this as combining the best of old and new,” said Mitchell. “Eventually we hope to sell add-on modules, even trailers that allow you to add as much horsepower as you like.”

Filed under at 11:48 am
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April 4, 2009

Vampires threaten to strike for darker working conditions

by Acedtect

A vampireThe Union of caulkers, bagmakers, vampires and hedge fund manager assistants (UCBVHFMA) called for a general strike of all vampires if darker working conditions are not met.

Organisers have been negotiating with several large businesses that employ significant numbers of vampires, but the talks broke down Friday.

“Our members work in buildings with excessive light that is damaging and sometimes fatal,” said organiser Vladimir Hudson.  “They are left to either attempt odd hours that conflict with co-workers schedules, or burden themselves with large coverings and dark cube nets.”

The UCBVHFMA wants special entrances from underground tunnels, protected hallways away from large windows and certain floors or work areas with standardised gloom-lighting.

Companies like IBM, Citigroup and Pillsbury all would face large workforce outages if the strike is held. That’s an economic issue many of them don’t want to face.  But meeting the demands is also costly.

“It’s not that we aren’t sympathetic,” said a management negotiator. “But tunnels are expensive as is tinted glass. In these troubled times, the best we can offer is company-issued parasols and flex scheduling.”

That’s not good enough according to the union and the vampires have approved a strike deadline for next Wednesday if an agreement is not reached.

Filed under at 12:19 pm
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