October 18, 2009
OSLO – In a brief announcement yesterday God broke his silence on last week’s awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama, calling it outrageous.
The supreme maker of all read from a prepared statement that did not mention the President directly but caustically chastised the Nobel panel.
“For eternity I have waited for the recognition due to me in softening men’s hearts, providing hope to soldiers in foxholes, and sending doves pretty much everywhere,” read the staement.
“But this latest snub has almost exhausted my infinite patience. The Nobel committee must resolve this.”
Spokesangel Michael took questions after God left the room and tried to explain his boss’s position.
“Look his son is the Prince of Peace.Â That makes him the King of Peace.Â But he never gets a peace prize? You do the math.”
Reporters pointed out that many wars both past and current have been fought in God’s name, but Michael pointed out that claiming something is far from making it true.
“Anybody can go out and steal a ham sandwich and claim they do it in God’s name,” answered Michael. “That doesn’t mean God supports stealing pork products.”
Michael stated that God would follow up on his announcement shortly, which he also pointed out could mean a year in God time.Â Insider’s say if there is no forthcoming prize after the next vote there could be Hell to pay.Â Literally.