SuBBrilliant News

March 1, 2014

Deep state operatives spread cancer lies

by Acedtect

(CLEVELAND, Ohio) A new peer-reviewed study on the prevalence of propaganda ops by Deep State agents, showed cancer myth-spreading has risen 38% over the past six months.

The mission of the propagandeer in question is to encourage people to treat their cancer with alternative therapies like baking soda, lemon juice, or flouristat in some cases. The ultimate aims of deep state actors are rarely known but theories to motivations involve driving up health care expenses by raising the number of people who put off treatment, thus requiring more expensive procedures.

However the plots to get people to avoid effective cancer therapies might be more insidious. Some experts believe the secret government plan involves targeting groups for slow extermination by non-treatment.

If you see actors in forums, message boards or chats going under any of the following names or their variations, beware and do not engage. Any conversation with them will result in your being tracked and monitored and possibly turned into a false flag operation yourself.

According to the paper by Dr. Gavel McLeod Ph. D. in Political Theory the user names known so far are truthsprddr, anticncr5, ckiller-62672, cancerdancer, yeastowza, bksdklr and shwood. More usernames are being discovered daily.

The experts advise simply ignoring the agents until they go away.

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December 9, 2011

Food blamed for fat teens

by Acedtect

SANTA MONICA – Researchers think they may have found the strongest cause for teen obesity. Dr. Morgana Phillechang made the announcement from the Santa Monica Laboratory of Research into Teen Behavioral Quality.

Phillechang’s team isolated teens into a control group as well as groups that only watched TV, played video games, surfed the Internet or ate food, for 10 days.

“We were shocked that the group tasked with eating food had 5 times the body mass index increase of the groups who engaged in other sedentary activities,” said Phillechang.

The team’s research will be published int he forthcoming issue of Nature and recommends scrutiny of food regulations for teens.

Congress was quick to respond, with Representative Joh Brenkman calling for legislation to outlaw food for teens. “It is unfathomable that we allow these dangerous substances to be easily available to our children,” Brenkman said in a statement.

The Brenkman bill calls for food to be placed on shelves out of the reach of children, labels stating the dangers of food and will require grocery store employees to record the identity and age of any adult purchasing food.

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September 10, 2011

Labor laws dragging down economy

by Acedtect

WASHINGTON – Business leaders criticized the President’s jobs speech for not addressing the huge negative effect of current labor laws.

“How can we be expected to create jobs when a large part of the labor market has been declared off limits by the government?!” said one CEO.

A coalition of companies are pressuring the administration to repeal what they feel are antiquated anti-business laws regarding age limits.

“The impedance to innovation is unconscionable,” reads the coalition statement. “We could be doing so much with miniaturization, micro-assembly, and other areas that require specialized skills. However the era of big government declares that because of an accident of birth, those best suited to these jobs be denied their opportunities.”

The group calls for the end of the Fair Labor Standards Act enacted in 1934.

“This product of Roosevelt’s flirtation with socialism is keeping us in recession,” said one particularly angry CFO. “We don’t want to put children in coal mines. We want to give all people, regardless of age, the chance to contribute to the building of America!”

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January 26, 2011

87% of Burkina Faso can’t find Burkina Faso on a map

by Acedtect

(Ouagadougou) A recent study of resident of Burkina Faso can’t find their own country on a map.

“We win,” said a local livestock farmer. “Take that dumb Americans.”

A large percentage of the country cannot read, so many of them had trouble even reading the survey questions.

“I think most of them just participated in the survey for the free Milky Way mini-bites,” remarked a Sorghum merchant.

The results were also likely influenced by the current existent of the Mossi Kingdom and its court in the Burkina capital.

“What’s Burkina Faso?” asked a woman when interviewed. “Long live Mogho Naba.”

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September 16, 2010

Company predicts rival won’t do very well

by Acedtect

SemiGigaCorp Chief Executve Bart Karol said he thinks rival OmniMegaCorp’s control over the marketplace will drive customers away, causing OMC to “fall apart.”

Karol spoke with SBN about the direction his company is taking, as SGC looks to increase its revenue from its primary business. In the interview, Karol took the opportunity to comment on OMC’s newly launched service, which debuted in July. The SGC CEO predicted that its rival will fail because customers won’t like its stuff very much.

“That’s going to fall apart for them,” Karol said of OMC. “Customers don’t like the way they’re going to do that. We do it so much better.”

Karol’s comments likely stem from comments made by customer in August. Early customers of OMC’s new service complained that it wasn’t perfect. However some early adopters indicated that despite not being perfect, the new service was pretty good.

Karol thinks other companies shouldn’t listen to that and just try his stuff first/ “Why risk it not being very good, when our company needs your business?” he added.

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