September 10, 2011
Labor laws dragging down economy
WASHINGTON – Business leaders criticized the President’s jobs speech for not addressing the huge negative effect of current labor laws.
“How can we be expected to create jobs when a large part of the labor market has been declared off limits by the government?!” said one CEO.
A coalition of companies are pressuring the administration to repeal what they feel are antiquated anti-business laws regarding age limits.
“The impedance to innovation is unconscionable,” reads the coalition statement. “We could be doing so much with miniaturization, micro-assembly, and other areas that require specialized skills. However the era of big government declares that because of an accident of birth, those best suited to these jobs be denied their opportunities.”
The group calls for the end of the Fair Labor Standards Act enacted in 1934.
“This product of Roosevelt’s flirtation with socialism is keeping us in recession,” said one particularly angry CFO. “We don’t want to put children in coal mines. We want to give all people, regardless of age, the chance to contribute to the building of America!”
Heh, i like it.
Does the onion take freelance work? because this is VERY high quality material
In My Opinion, All 50 States Should Be Declared “Right To Work States”; And All “Public Sector” Unions Should Be Banned, Period !
Specifically, what law(s) are you referring to here? Child labor law?
Sorry, but kids belong in school, and there appropriate exceptions to allow them to work as the laws are currently written.
Wow, this is very dry humour! As Faiz wrote above, it’d be perfect for The Onion. And just like that august publication, it’d probably get misconstrued as the real thing fairly often.
Was this posted before Gingrich proposed it?