SuBBrilliant News

February 27, 2007

Group demands discrimination against February end

by Acedtect

(Washington, DC) – A group of protesters clashed with police on the US Capitol Mall over equal rights for months.February 2007

Local riot troops sprayed tear gas and used noise cannons to control the crowd that chanted slogans like “28 ain’t so great” and  “Whatd do we want? 30 Days When do want ’em?  In February!”

A group called the United Coalition for Equal Treatment of Months organised the protests. Speakers earlier in the day made a case for a longer February.

“February sits as the coldest of months, not because of the weather but because it is surrounded on all sides by artificially inflated bullies known as January and March,” said Dr. Evan Montelbaign from the main stage early in the day. “They say it’s because of leap year. They say it’s tradition.  Some even want to blame the moon. I say the time for excuses is over.  Give February equal treatment now!”

The crowd was raucous from the beginning but turned ugly in the afternoon when supporters of a return to the Julian calendar showed up and began a counter-demonstration. Police estimate 28 or 29 were injured in the ensuing riot.

Despite the unfortunate turn of events, the coalition still hopes to force congress to pass a resolution taking a day each form January and March and adding it to February by the end of the month.

“If all months were treated equally, we’d have two extra days to fight for this,” said Montelbaign. “Of course, then we wouldn’t need to fight I guess.”

Filed under at 6:15 pm

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